I have joked about it in my family blog and with friends, the "Job of the Month". This is what my husband does when he gets antsy with his current job position. I think I understand a bit better where it is coming from as the Army has it's own fair share of jobs of the month. It used to get me all worked up when J would come home and say I think I want to go to school for this class and do this. Which would then put him away from us again for months at a time. I am not a stay home Mom I am working and I have a job that requires 12 hour shifts, on call and weekends, so daycare is not easy to work around with this schedule and I rely on Jared a big part of the time to help in picking up M and B before it closes on days I work. When you do not have family near these little details can really become stressors that play into your family and your marriage. I have learned over the past six years married to Jared that some things don't need an immediate reaction. In fact I have found it best to say that is great honey and I will support you if that is something you want to do just let me know when its official and you have orders. So many times it just never plays out. I am not sure if it is the typical wondering mind of men trying to add challenges when their jobs seem mundane or if he is just testing me. However there is another side of this a few years ago Jared felt very strongly that he wanted to do something different, get out of the Army for good and be a financial planner. This all at a time when the market was in deep trouble and people were not giving up a cent. I fully supported him, after several interviews he got a job offer and we talked about moving to be closer to family in MN. Wouldn't that have been my dream:) Jared only has about 7 years left till retirement and Me, the wife that upon saying "I do" was hoping he would end his military career was now more certain than ever that staying in, in this economy when we had one child and planning to have more, was the best thing to do. Jared will only be in his 40's when he retires a perfect time to test any career path he may fancy and he can succeed or fail at it with really little concern on our finances at that point.
Another thing of Jobs of the Month which more wives can probably relate to is military directed. I am not sure if it is budget cuts or what but in this past year Jared has been told that he will be taking a job in Seattle with the DEA, which we discussed moving north to be closer. Teaching in the school house which may cause him to be gone at training and afar teaching opportunities. Instead he has sat on a hiring board and done small jobs around his office. There have been talks of moving the unit to Spokane which would be a big move for our family, this was expected for 2015 or so but now someone put the word out it may be sooner. They also are sending him to two schools one to fly a new helicopter that they have no plans of him flying once he returns. This could make him miss the birth of our child and me home with a toddler and working in late stages of pregnancy with no help. The most recent job of the month news came this past week in a phone call inquiring if he could go down and help on the border. None of these have happened yet but it sure makes it hard to plan life. We need to buy another home as we have outgrown ours but with the possibility of a move we can't think about that now. I am planning to go back to school and get my masters but because there have been so many "possibly" moves or uncertain career paths I have since put that off. Spokane has a great program for my degree desires but who knows when or if that will actually become official.
Like I said the best things is not to get too up in a tissy about all these what ifs. Most of them don't seem to pan out but it doesn't mean that it is any less stressful and challenging trying to make a life for yourselves.
I also think it makes it hard to form strong friendships outside of the military. If you are constantly dropping bombs to your friends that you are going to be leaving or moving it makes it really hard on both ends to form a strong bond. Understandably, who wants to invest time in a friendship that may fade away to distance in a few short months. It has it's own set of challenges and often I think as military wives we cling to like minded friends. I know this was very common when I was a travel nurse. You could make instant fast friends with other travel nurses but a lot of the permanent staff did not really want to get to know you on a personal level. I guess you just have to try and reach out and hope that if it is a good friend they will be understanding that the relationship may need to be flexible to change and that can be hard when you are looking for Mom's of toddlers for play dates and coffee.
